hey... i didn't die today

recipe: flourless chocolate cake

2010-05-24T21:28:00.004+10:00

It didn't really occur to me to actually post the recipe for this, but a few people asked for it so here it is :D

250g dark cooking chocolate (I recommend Lindt dark chocolate)
100g caster sugar
100g unsalted butter, cubed
1 tbs coffee-flavoured liqueur (optional - I used vanilla syrup)
125g hazelnut meal
5 eggs, separated

1. Preheat oven to 180C. Grease 23cm round springform tin and line the base with baking paper.

2. Place the cooking chocolate, sugar, butter and liqueur in a heatproof bowl. Melt over a double boiler. Stir occasionally to ensure even melting and mixing. When fully melted remove from heat and mix thoroughly.

3. Transfer chocolate mixture to a large bowl. Stir in hazelnut meal, then beat the egg yolks in one at a time, mixing well after each addition. In a dry bowl, whisk egg whites until they form stiff peaks. Gently fold in the rest using a rubber spatula (or large metal spoon).

4. Pour mixture into tin and bake for 50-60 minutes or until a skewer comes out clean when inserted. Leave to cool completely in the tin before turning out and dusting with icing sugar.

Courtesy of "THE ESSENTIAL BAKING COOKBOOK"

baked polenta

2010-05-22T21:14:00.008+10:00

I haven't experimented much with polenta actually, and the first time I tried making it myself it sort of turned out like mush.

Corn seems to have a great relationship with cheese and I approve wholeheartedly, which is probably why I am such a fan of this dish. Polenta, stock, mozzarella (lots), parmesan (also lots), tomato and prosciutto - a winning combination. Such a simple dish. Cook the polenta in the stock. Add cheese and stir. Add tomatoes and prosciutto and stir. Bake. Add more cheese on top. Bake. Eat! Love it.

Probably the trickiest thing about this dish for me was finding a prosciutto with no preservatives or anything that I couldn't eat. I finally found one that was just pork and salt, it wasn't cheap, but it was worth it.

Today confirmed my theory that you can pretty much throw whatever you like into polenta and bake it. This is really exciting for me because it opens up a lot other "take away" (and by that I mean make at home and take to work) options for lunch for me because lately I have been really scraping the bottom of the barrel for easy to heat up at work options. I'm just not sure I'll move away from the cheese combination ;)

back to baking

2010-05-22T20:26:00.004+10:00

I am the first to admit that I am quite terrible at keeping this thing up to date. However today comes with such greatness!!! I was finally motivated to make interesting tasty food again, which I just haven't felt like doing for a long long time. And I have reaped the benefits.

This flourless chocolate cake is just the right texture, moist, a little burnt on one side, but I blame my oven for that mostly and yet just so delicious!! It's very rich and quite crumbly, great with ice cream. The last time I tried this cake it collapsed in the middle, but this time, I am not sure what I did different, but it was perfect all the way around.

I did learn that chocolate really does expire though. It surprised me. I found some nice caramel chocolate that had an expiry of about a year ago, and I thought I'd give it a go anyway. No good. It didn't melt very well, and it sort of had a coagulated consistency by the end of it. So I tossed it out and started again.

If you are trying to do any baking with chocolate, I definitely advice using good quality (non expired) chocolate. For this cake I have used bittersweet dark lindt chocolate. Very smooth, but no barely or malt, just good chocolate things. I do tend to use it in quite a lot of my chocolate cooking.

Hazelnut meal is the base for this cake, and not that much is needed. It seems to be less oily than almond meal. The flavour is different, but I can't pinpoint what the difference is yet. It works quite well with this cake because it binds with the chocolate rather than just co-existing.

All in all I am a happy camper, cake is good for me, especially when I know exactly what's in it. Let me know if you want the receipe!

The Final Challenge

2010-01-09T19:57:00.002+11:00

I was at breaking point, ready to throw in the towel and give up on everything when I decided to take on one final challenge. In my mind it was try this and/or accept that nothing else would work at making me feel better and I may as well go back to eating all that food that makes me terrible.

I gave myself 12 weeks – because I know things don’t happen overnight. 12 weeks to at least have the trend of feeling better be more than the trend of feeling crap. But this was going to take fairly drastic measures. So here they are.

The De-tox
What I really wanted was to take all of my digestive organs and either replace them or wash them so thoroughly to get rid of all the toxins building up in my system from the last 12 months. So it seemed logical to me to do a de-tox. I started a 15 day de-tox by Quick Cleanse.

The main components of this de-tox are: take their pills as scheduled, no processed foods and sugars, no alcohol and no animal products. Lots of raw fruits and vegetables, and lots of water.

The Personal Trainer
My last post mentioned that I had started to feel the squeeze in a big way, and that was compounded by the fact that I had lost the motivation and energy to exercise. Not that I did anything athletic before, but I certainly did a lot more yoga, pilates and walking. So obviously going from low to no level of activity wasn’t helping. Now anyone who knows me knows that I hate the gym, a lot, a real big lot. But something had to be done and clearly I wasn’t doing very well on my own. So I decided to join a gym and get a personal trainer for the 12 weeks.

I was very specific about the type of personal trainer I wanted and their qualifications. I needed someone who would be able to take all my dietary constraints and symptoms, and get me to a point where my physical state was starting to improve. I explained some of my symptoms and was clear that I wasn’t expecting to lose the 7 kilos I had gained in 12 weeks, but I was expecting a downward trend. I was even ok with the fact that the scales may not change at all, as long as my body composition had something to show for it – that I fit my old clothes again. My theory was that if I had less body fat to bloat, then bloating wouldn’t be so bad, right?

The Nazi
While my diet is already quite restrictive, my eating patterns are not. In fact I am quite lazy. When I find something I like, then I will just eat the same time over and over and over again. But part of my condition is that I have to rotate food to avoid a build up for particular chemicals in my system.

So not only am I looking at what I can and can’t eat, I’m also looking at when or how often I can eat it. This also means being more prudent at meal planning. So instead of cooking one big bucket of something and eating it all week, I now have to plan each meal of each day for the week.

So there you have it – the final challenge to myself. I am currently 10 weeks into the 12 weeks, and it is working for me. It’s not perfect obviously, but I can say with certainty that I do feel better, I am starting to fit my clothes again, and I have had much less craziness. The trend on the feeling better is definitely on the up.

o brother, where art thou?

2009-12-26T07:44:00.000+11:00

Well it’s been quite a while since I last posted anything. I hope this post will explain why that is and what the future holds.

So what happened you ask? Well to be perfectly frank, I just got really fed up… with everything. I didn’t walk to do any more testing, I was tired of doing all this psychoanalysis on myself, and I really did not want to talk about it. I just wanted it all to go away and pretend like I had never gone through this experience.

Gee that’s a bit extreme isn’t it? It may seem that way, but when people ask me how all the food testing is going my response is “it has been the worst 12 months of my life and I wish I’d been better prepared to make the decision to go ahead, because I don’t think I would have.”

Exhaustion, motivation, and will
The biggest contributor I think to this feeling was the symptoms I suffered from much of the food. Sometimes I felt like I had chronic fatigue. The food and everything related to managing the symptoms were draining. First I’d have to get up to go to work, that was tiring. Then I would have to convince myself to get up off the edge of the bed or bath to actually have a shower. That was harder than you think, and yes it was tiring. Then I would have to talk myself into getting dressed. Well you get the idea. Some days were harder than others. Some days, I should have stayed home.

Once I left the house and got to work I would have to really “turn it on”, you know, be social, talk to people, and actually do some work. This was an unbelievable strain on my body physically and emotionally.

By the time I’d get home, I was so exhausted all I could muster up was making dinner and sitting on the couch. Bedtime was my favourite time of the day because as soon as my head hit the pillow I would literally pass out. The world was gone. Shut out for another little while.

Analysis paralysis
Angry, upset paranoid and depressed were the most frequent visitors of the psychological symptoms. Was it something I ate? What could it have been? I’ve eaten that before without any serious problems so maybe it’s not that. How careful was I yesterday? Maybe it wasn’t yesterday, maybe it was the day before? Is it a new boundary? Does this really make me that angry, upset or depressed? Would I normally be so charged from it? Why am I crying about this?

Every day, for every emotion, for every interaction and feeling, this is what I went through. You really have to ask the question, why don’t any of the symptoms come out with total exhilaration or euphoria?

Feeling the squeeze
Rapid prolonged weight gain and bloating were those acquaintances that just never left, or just popped out but always came back.

So add all of the same questions as above and add on questions about what to wear. I was just so uncomfortable in my own skin I could not comprehend how putting anything on was going to change that at all. And it didn’t. It’s no wonder why it took me so long to get up and ready in the morning.

I wasn’t exercising much either. A little bit of swimming here and there, and yoga once a week, but these were (obviously) not enough to actually reduce the weight or mitigate any symptoms. The bigger I got, the more depressed I got the less I did any form of physical activity.

Breathing is a luxury
Just to keep things interesting, I developed a respiratory problem that continued for 3 months where I was constantly coughing. It was unclear whether or not it was related to the testing I was doing with the food, or if I was allergic to my client site at the time, the colleagues I was sitting next to or my house, so I went to see a respiratory and allergy specialist.

There were a lot of blood tests, breathing tests, x-rays and scans and the threat of doing another round of food baseline and elimination. I moved to a different floor from my project team and at one stage I even had to move out of my house for a period of time. After 3 months, I got a very serious bout of gastro that lasted about a week, and that seemed to eradicate whatever respiratory issues.

So needless to say, it’s been a tough year for me, but we are getting there and I’ll go into more detail in my next post.

Finally, I need to share with you that I would not have been able to do this on my own. My husband has just been phenomenal. He has been patient, kind, supporting, he has done things for me, waited for me, got frustrated with me and at me, but he has never left my side. To be honest, that amazes me. I feel like I have been the most awful person to him but he still loves me. I love you babe, and thankyou.

persian flavours

2009-07-05T22:32:00.000+10:00

This is a cute little family run restaurant in suburbs of Melbourne. It was right near the hotel we were staying at for work. I ordered food at random for everyone and then asked if it would be possible to have totally plain, un-marinated chicken. The look on the woman’s face was total disbelief and she responded with “No I can’t do that. It wouldn’t taste like anything. And that would be horrible.”

I guess you can’t win them all. Everyone else said they were really nice though.

cookie: melbourne

2009-07-01T22:27:00.001+10:00

I highly recommend visiting this place if you are every in Melbourne and you are stuck for ideas for dinner and/or drinks. It’s a great cocktail bar and the food is excellent.

I was in Melbourne recently for work and was able to catch up with some colleagues for dinner and a drink or two. There was already a large group of people there, and I arrived with three other people. We sat down and got some menus. When the waiter returned I asked if it was possible to have anything plain that was on the menu, plain chicken, plain steak, plain fish. He said he’d go check with the kitchen.

On he’s return he said that the steak could be done plain, and that the prawns could also be done plain if need be. Perfect I said, totally plain steak it is. Then my friend jumped in and mentioned that he was gluten intolerant but was interested in the pork belly and another entrée. The waiter said sure, one sec I’ll go check with the kitchen, he took one step, and then came back and asked our other two companions “anything else I should check while I’m there?”. Hehe.

When he came back this time, he said the pork belly could be done gluten free. So our tabled ordered two serves of pork belly, one gluten free, and two steaks, one totally plain.

My friend also ordered a “Vesper” cocktail and asked for the Chopin vodka instead of the regular vodka. Chopin is one of two potato-based vodka’s we have found in Australia so far. When the cocktail came out, the waiter (a different guy) put it down and said “one gluten free vesper”.

Firstly I had to share this story because I still find it funny. But secondly this only emphasis's my recommendation for eating and drinking here. The staff were very accommodating and took it all in their stride, the food was delicious and the drinks are fantastic.

http://www.cookie.net.au/

challenge: sorbates

2009-06-20T22:29:00.000+10:00

Sorbates are mineral salts, and another kind of preservative to help prevent things like mould. That seems like a good preservative to have. And what’s more, apparently its “naturally organic”, which also seems better.

This was another capsule test for me because it is found in things like margarine's and wheat products.

I seem to have come out of this test surprisingly unscathed. Seriously. No real reactions to note. I did have a headache during the second day, but actually think that was sleep deprivation and work related, not food related. Amazing I know.

Yay I can have more… salts? Hrm… I’ll have to have a think about that one.

challenge: propionates

2009-06-17T13:39:00.001+10:00

Propionates are preservatives found in bread. So because I can’t eat bread this was done as another capsule test. This was a lot simpler than the MSG test. Two capsules in the morning half an hour before breakfast and then just note down all the symptoms like before.

This test wasn’t so bad. I felt a bit nauseous and a bit light headed, but other than that I think I came out relatively unscathed. But it is still considered a reaction nonetheless.

Tally … food six, jane, zero.

challenge: msg and glutamates

2009-06-13T11:22:00.001+10:00

I don’t know who thought it would be a good idea to put pure msg into a capsule and give it to people but they did. I also don’t know who would be surprised with the results.

Having said that, this challenge was also supposed to test glutamates. This is apparently something that is present in all proteins and in its free form, not linked to protein, it enhances the flavour of food. Tomatoes, cheeses, mushrooms, stock cubes, sauces, meat extracts and yeast extracts all contain glutamates. Pure monosodium glutamate (MSG) can also be used as an additive to increase the flavour of soups, sauces, Asian cooking and snack foods.

Because of my history with asthma, I had to do this challenge as a capsule test, not a food test. And there aren’t that many foods that have glutamate on its own, without some amine or salicylate.

Not surprisingly after this challenge I had a bit of a headache, I was quite thirsty, and I was a little short of breath. I also had some serious stomach cramps, felt nauseous and rapid bowel movements.

While I am disappointed that I have failed yet another challenge, I did think “wouldn’t it be kind of ironic that the only thing I wasn’t allergic too would be msg?”, but also was not at all surprised.

challenge: amines

2009-05-25T21:20:00.000+10:00

Amines come from protein breakdown or fermentation. Large amounts are present in cheese, chocolate, wines, beer, yeast extracts and fish products. In simple terms, it’s what makes the green banana turn into a brown banana.

So this was a pretty exciting test for me. Pork and tuna, paw paw and bananas, and dark chocolate. I was a little hesitant about the dark chocolate because of the caffeine, but since I wasn’t able to do this with milk chocolate, I certainly wasn’t going to give up on a challenge that included chocolate! It was also supposed to include some cheeses, but once again, thanks to the failed milk challenge, I would have no such luck. Thanks a lot milk.

Now I wouldn’t have expected these words to come out of my mouth, but as I got towards the end of the seven day challenge, it was becoming more and more difficult to continue eating roast pork and dark chocolate. I don’t particularly like dark chocolate, and this challenge just kept reinforcing that. I really had to force myself to eat the chocolate through the last two days.

On top of that I had reactions to the amines and boy did they get a little interesting. I started to lose my appetite, I got some blotches on my face, and I started to get the shakes and feel like I was drunk.

I think the shakes were from the caffeine in the dark chocolate. Caffeine usually gives me migraines, but it wouldn’t be too far a stretch to think that a build up of caffeine might give me the shakes. Especially since I don’t have it at all in my diet usually. Well that’s what I’m telling myself anyway.

So the result of this was that I sat at work or the pub for this whole week shaking. It was mostly my hands, but every now and then I would get random shakes in the body. This got more interesting when I went out with some friends for drinks. I have to be honest, I think the gin and tonics actually dulled my senses and made the shakes better, until I got really drunk, and then they got worse.

My specialist doesn’t think this is what she would consider as "no reaction", so she marked it as a reaction. No surprises there right? *sigh*

challenge: milk mach 2

2009-05-23T13:12:00.001+10:00

So the last time I tried this challenge it was seen to be inconclusive. So here we are again. I did exactly the same test with almost all the same milk products. This time, much to my disappointment, I did have some specific reactions.

These included blotches on my face and cramps in my stomach. The unfortunate results of this challenge meant that I would not be able to have white chocolate as a sweet to break up my routine. On top of that it also meant that I couldn’t have normal milk chocolate for the next challenge. NOOO!

sparkling mineral water

2009-05-15T22:37:00.000+10:00

I remember going to Europe a few years ago and accidently buying some sparkling mineral water when I really just wanted plain water. I really didn’t like the taste then. It tasted absolutely horrible, almost like it was pretending to be lemonade, without the lemon, or the sugar!

But with the removal of all other flavoured liquids from my diet, I have recently taken quite a likely to sparkling mineral water. I also don’t look like such a freak when I go to cafés now and just order water, I can be fancy and say “sparkling mineral water please.” Although I still get strange looks when I try and fish the lemon/lime out.

Soda water – still disgusting.

the end of salicylates

2009-04-30T21:33:00.002+10:00

Apart from the sudden burst of flavour into my food, the first six day of this challenge were really not that interesting. There had been no symptoms to note. Which is why I was so surprised about what happened on the seventh day and the days that followed.

As part of the talk they give you when they are explaining the elimination diet they provide this analogy of how intolerance limits is really like having a bucket. Your bucket will only take so much, but once you overfill the bucket, even just a little bit, the entire bucket falls over and everything falls out.

This was more than just falling over. This was a catastrophic explosion.

On the last day of this challenge we had gone out to a friend’s place for a birthday celebration, had a lovely evening and came home. As I write this I don’t even really remember what happened, but I got upset about something, and it was all down hill from there. I cried for a substantial period of time before I was just so tired I passed out. Waking up the next morning I felt like I had been hit by a bus. I could barely think straight. My energy and motivation levels had gone into negative gear, which was noted by a friend and work colleague over the next two days. At this point I had stopped eating the salicylates and was back on the baseline.

And then finally, a couple of days later I just went completely loco! I was so hysterical, I think I went into ultrasonic mode where only animals would be able to hear me, let alone have anyone understand me. I couldn’t move off the couch either. My face was numb. My poor Dave didn’t know what to do. Luckily he has the powers to fix almost anything and finally just came over and gave me a really long hug.
While that was comforting and did help calm me down. The whole experience was just completely unexpected. I was prepared when I did the wheat challenge, but neither of us was prepared for this.

Throughout this while week after the challenge, I had soldiered on, and continued to go to work every day. I explained to a friend/colleague how tired and drained I was when I got to work, and he wisely said to me “There are more people who are a lot less sick than you are and don’t come to work. Seriously.” I have always felt an obligation to go to work unless I am physically unable to get out of the bed, but in hindsight, I am definitely going to be keeping that in mind.

So while I was lucky that I didn’t crack at work, I’m sure my behavioural change was noticeable, but worst of all, I had left it to my husband to be responsible for taking care of me again, and that was just unfair on him.

So the final results are, while I had a severe reaction to salicylates, I will be able to have them in my diet again, just in limited amounts. My specialist will explain all that when we get to the end of the testing.

challenge - salicylates

2009-04-27T22:31:00.000+10:00

“Salicylates are a family of plant chemicals found naturally in many fruits, vegetables, nuts, herbs and spices, jams, honey, yeast extracts, tea and coffee, juices, beer and wines. They are also present in flavourings (e.g. peppermint), perfumes, scented toiletries, eucalyptus oils, and some medications. (Aspirin is a member of the salicylate family).”

So it’s in a lot of stuff and it makes stuff interesting. So this challenge is even more interesting than the milk one because you don’t just get to add one ingredient, you get to add a whole bunch! You have to have at least 6 serves of salicylate foods each day for seven days, where one serve is about ½ a cup or 100g. How hard could that be? As long as you stay within the guidelines – not that hard.

The vegetables included in this challenge: asparagus, beetroot, carrot, chinese vegetables, lettuce (except iceburg), marrow, parsnip, potato (red), pumpkin, snow peas, snow pea sprouts, sweet potato, turnip, alfalfa, artichoke, capsicum, chilli, chicory, corn, cucumber, endive, onion, radish, water chestnut, watercress and zucchini.

Other things included in this challenge are things like some apple juices, peppermint tea, some jams, your standard herbs and spices and honey.
The real challenge for me was how to get as much variety in as possible, without over eating or wasting food. This was going to be a breeze though. I didn’t really have a problem with vegetables and I used to have peppermint tea every day for 2 years. So I was set.

What I found really interesting about the week I was doing this challenge was how much I came to appreciate the basic and natural flavours of some of these vegetables.
Snow peas are sweet, crunchy and juicy. They are great in a salad and with chicken or just on their own. They don’t need much work, just lightly steamed or blanched. Butternut pumpkins (also known as squash – though squash here in Australia is also another vegetable) are also full of flavour on their own. They are sweet too, but in a different way, not sugary. Roasted with a tiny bit of oil and salt really enhances the flavour. Perfect with roast chicken and great in a salad. They do have a strange texture that feels a bit starchy and stringy, but soft and warm, softer than sweet potato.

I realise it's obvious that honey and maple syrup are two different products with two different flavours. Honey is thicker and a lot sweeter. Maple syrup is lighter and does not go very well in quinoa porridge. I quite like maple syrup, but it was nice to have honey again.

Plain corn chips may not seem that interesting, but they were a nice break from plain potato chips. Corn is just so much more interesting than celery and is even better than butter beans and borlotti beans.

So this week was great, I got more interesting salads, I got my peppermint tea back, and I got to add flavour to my chicken. Everything was perfect, until I got to day seven.

challenge - milk

2009-04-25T20:40:00.003+10:00

Despite what you might think, or what I might hope, this challenge does not include all dairy products. It is predominately milk based and does not include cheese, which was very disappointing to learn. Having said that, soymilk really isn’t that great, especially when added to things like eggs or mashed potato. So bring on the milk I say.
It’s a seven-day challenge. You can have any type of plain, unflavoured milk you like (such as full cream or skim etc). You start day 1 with 200mls of milk, 400mls on day 2 and 600mls on day 3. Days 4 to 7 continue to have 600mls and you can include some cream cheese, yoghurt or ice cream off the allowed shopping list (provided before you start the baseline).

I learned before the challenge that there are dependencies between the first few challenges and the later challenges. The results of this challenge impacts what you can have for the others. So if you have a reaction to milk, you don’t get to have milk chocolate or cheese in the amine challenge. And you have to take milk back out of your diet until the tests are over! Geez, no pressure.

My prior history of lactose intolerance was not not helping my confidence levels. I mentioned to a friend that I would just lie about the results if they weren’t that bad, and at least that way I could a little bit of white chocolate and some normal tasting mashed potato. They protested quite strongly, and I knew they were right and it would defeat the purpose of doing this in the first place.

I struggled to finish the milk on the first day, not a good sign for the rest of the challenge. But it turns out that hot frothy milk is harder to drink that just plain cold milk. As the week went on, I was getting some strange headaches and periodic narcolepsy type symptoms (at work), feeling bloated and some small blotches on my face. Things didn’t look like they were going in my favour here. I might have also got a little but ambitious by adding all other possible allowed foods including yoghurt, white chocolate and ice cream.

My specialist she did suggest that perhaps we started the challenge to soon, and that I could either count this as a reaction, or at some other stage, retry the challenge. With so much riding on it, agreeing that perhaps these symptoms were leftovers from the wheat, and looking for any excuse to get a no reaction result, I decided that I would try again another time.

But this also meant back to the baseline until I was symptom free for at least 3 days in a row.

the baseline

2009-04-17T22:55:00.002+10:00

Bamboo shoots, cabbage, celery, chives, dried beans, green beans, leek, lentils, iceberg lettuce, mungbean sprouts, white peeled potatoes and red cabbage. These vegetables are my new best friend. Sadly, there is only so much you can do with them. Pears in syrup, chicken without skin, salt, eggs, sugar, canola oil and quinoa are pretty much the only other things I can add to my diet. It’s really not that exciting. Not only that, but the first part of the diet consists of four weeks of these baseline foods.

Also at first I thought I would only have to eat this kind of food for the first four weeks and that would be the end of that. But it turns out that is not the case. If at any point I have any kind of symptoms during the tests, I have to revert back to this food until the symptoms clear for a period of time.

While I knew that not eating wheat would make me feel better, I was surprised at how quickly it started to work. Emotionally I could feel a difference within the first week. Sadly, it did take quite some time for all the other symptoms to disappear. Slowly, but surely I was improving. I just hoped that the results of the challenges would swing in my favour, and I was confident that with wheat out of the way, and the support of these new colourless and flavourless foods, I would do just fine.

What's even worse is that I can't even eat some of the baseline foods - just to make it even more of a fun challenge. Rice and some other foods are also included on the baseline for the more normal people, but it sure does make it more interesting... or less depending on how you look at it.

week 7 - the verdict

2009-03-17T21:57:00.002+11:00

So I obviously didn’t die, but it was a long week and waiting for the appointment with the specialist seemed to take an eternity. It was no surprise to me when my specialist told me that I didn’t have celiac disease, but it was a shock to me how much detail and preparation went into starting and completing the elimination diet.

The main difference to having an allergy and having intolerance is that an allergy is your immune system reacting to something, and intolerance is just you wigging out. There are 5 main categories of symptoms for those with intolerances, and that I cover all 5. Woo! They are something like head, skin, bowel, emotional, and respiratory.

My specialist spent the next 45 minutes trying to prepare me for the “Elimination Diet”. Which sounds like you eat stuff and slowly start taking things out. But actually it’s the opposite – you take everything you possibly can without becoming nutrient deficient, and then add things back in one at a time. To keep it simple though, it’s no flavour and nothing interesting. If you like it, you probably can’t have it. Not even normal toothpaste. You have to use plain unflavoured toothpaste! This is what they call the baseline diet.

There are a series of challenges to help determine what you are intolerant to. It’s not a food per say. It’s more to do with the naturally occurring chemical groups in particular foods. Here is the list of challenges – but I’ll provide more detail at each challenge as I go through them. And I have to admit I'm not entirely sure how to figure out how much I can have based on what reactions I do and don't have - but I guess that's what the specialist is for.

They are wheat (but fortunately I don’t have to do that one again) milk, salicylates,
amines, glutamate/MSG, propionates, sorbates, benzoates, antioxidants, colours, nitrates, sulphites, and soy.

Each one takes somewhere between 3 days and 1 week. If you have a reaction – you have to clear the system out on the baseline again before you can start the next. So it takes somewhere between 2-6 months on average.

How on earth am I going to survive without chocolate for that long? Seriously? Giving up alcohol I can understand, and at least have done that for six months before. But chocolate? This was a big ask..

week 6 - the end... but not really

2009-02-27T21:07:00.002+11:00

So its no real surprise that this was the worst week. Emotionally the entire experience had been building up and it was not going to end well.

I put on so much weight 90% of my wardrobe didn’t fit. I was exhausted all the time, I was grumpy, I was angry and in general not a great person to be around. So I made a decision that I would get the blood tests as soon as I could that week, and that I would make my follow up appointment with the specialists.

Talk about a roller-coaster! Tuesday I just lost the plot at work. A friend and colleague who I have been sharing the experience with tells me that he thought, “Yep, she’s lost it” that week. Then I went to get the blood tests. I had been trying to call the specialists all week, and by Wednesday hadn’t gotten through. I had wanted to confirm that if I took the tests, it would be ok for me to just stop eating the food and if they needed to do the biopsy it would be fine because I would still have traces in my system. But since I had already made up my mind, I went and got the blood tests anyway.

Thursday was just ridiculous. I was so excited the previous evening because I would finally get to stop eating this stuff and maybe feel better soon. But then I found out that I would actually have to continue eating wheat at least until the blood test results came back (which could be up to 3 weeks) and then depending on the results up until I could get the biopsy. Wow did I crash. I could hardly concentrate at work and all I wanted to do was go completely nuts at someone and sit in a corner and cry. I was completely devastated. All afternoon people were talking to me but I didn’t hear anything. I couldn’t concentrate. I was in shock.

I didn’t recover from the shock very quickly either. Later that week people were saying things like “Oh look at you trying to cram all your wheat before it’s over” and “wow you must be really enjoying it getting to eat interesting stuff again” which on probably any other week I would have been laughing with them, but that day it made my blood boil. It was the longest week ever, and I wanted it to be over. I felt like dying.

week 5 - emotional meltdown

2009-02-22T23:20:00.000+11:00

With an attempt to cleanse my system without affecting the results of my tests, my situation rapidly deteriorated. While no new symptoms presented themselves during the week, the effort of trying to remain positive and limit the impact of anything to my team was wearing me down. Given the kinds of feedback I get when I am “normal” and “in control”, I was putting a lot more effort into not only attempting to be “normal” but trying to overcome that perception and reality all together. This was both emotionally and mentally taxing. It’s amazing I found time to work at all really!

Anyway, with great relief, the weekend came. My husband and I went to a lovely little French café called Sel et Poivre in Darlinghurst. They have some really nice breakfasts and one of the only places that we’ve been to that sell bowls of coffee (though given that I don’t drink coffee I realise this may seem irrelevant). Here we both enjoyed some lovely fresh baguettes with butter and jam and discussed who it was that put ham and cheese on everything. Seriously, who started that?
I found my state of mind a little conflicting. On one hand I just wanted to stay at home, not speak to anyone, and be grumpy and self-loathing on the couch. On the other hand, I wanted to give my husband a bit of a break from me, which required other people, and me to go out with him and them.

Going out on the bike always seems to calm me. So that seemed the logical answer. We would take advantaged of the beautiful weather, we would be doing something together, but for the most part I just had to concentrate on the road and not talk to people. We did go visit some friends after brunch, and for the most part that was uneventful from me, but their invitation to go out later that evening, with more people, was something that I knew I wouldn’t cope with well. So we didn’t go.

Later that weekend, I had managed to have a screaming fit and have a panic attack that put me in a fairly serious life-threatening situation. I was hyperventilating. I couldn’t function, I couldn’t even really respond. Fortunately for me, my super hero husband was on hand and helped me out. Though the crying for the rest of the day was probably a little bit much for him to take.

It’s these moments when people point out the obvious as if you haven’t noticed. “You’ve been in a bad mood all morning” – “No really? I hadn’t noticed. After all, I’ve only been poisoning myself for the last 5 weeks, trying to stop the symptoms that I knew would suck, and attempting not to revert back to a person I left behind – but thanks for pointing that out!” I know people are trying to be helpful, but sometimes, things like that are not helpful. Not in these conditions anyway.

I did try and make it up to my husband for being such a crack pot, and bought some pastries from a place called “The Bourke Street Bakery” – recommended to me by a friend. It was really nice. We got some pain au chocolat’s, pizza, pies, brulee and chocolate tarts. They were delicious. Highly recommended for those that can, should.

But even with all these lovely treats, I was over this test. I wanted it to finish. I hated it, the food and myself. I felt like crap constantly, and I hated how I was hurting the people around me with no real sense of control or ability to stop it.

coaliac disease testing continued - week 4

2009-02-12T22:40:00.000+11:00

So this week was the beginning of rapid deterioration. It was the beginning of constantly being tired. It was the beginning of constantly being bloated, constantly having issues with my bowels, and constantly having headaches.

All the sleep in the world couldn’t make me feel better. I would go to sleep almost before my head hit the pillow, and I would wake up feeling like a zombie. And its not like this was a particularly stressful period at work because we we’re at work.

This was also another jammed packed week of seeing and entertaining people. So no time to get pissy about anything with anyone here! We went out and had some pizza at a place called Pizza Mario in Surry Hills with some friends for dinner. And while I knew it was going to be a bad idea weight-wise, I figured hey if I’m doing this stupid test I may as well enjoy it, right? Anyway the pizza was nice, but I paid for it the next day. We had people over for new years, and we had people over for a bbq a few days later. So it was pretty full on.

I have to admit, I probably subconsciously did that on purpose, because I thought if I have to be around people then I’ll be forced to be nice and I won’t get the chance to be angry right? Well it sort of worked. Having 15 or so people at your house can be stressful at the best of times. So by the end of the night I was kind of hoping that everyone would go away and I could just crawl into a hole.

The next morning was quite disastrous. It turns out that I had accidently eating something with rice flour in it. Along with everything else, I really don’t agree with rice. My weight sky-rocketed and my clothes stopped fitting. It was almost instantaneous and the damage was high. 90% of my wardrobe no longer fit. Not only that, I had to go spend the whole day surrounded by 85 000 other people (or so) watching Australia lose the cricket!

I was losing dexterity in my fingers. My balance was beginning to suffer (more than usual). And I dreaded the thought of going back to work in this state. And I was irritable. Really, really irritable.

I was thinking of ways to mitigate the symptoms’ of the testing while not affecting the results. A good friend of mine consulted with me on some good strategies before I started. We bought laxatives, Imodium, de gas, and lots of peppermint tea. We thought that my clearing out the stomach the symptoms’ wouldn’t last as long.

Unfortunately for me, and everyone around me, it didn’t work.

coaliac disease testing - week 3

2009-02-12T22:02:00.002+11:00

Mmm getting ready for Christmas! Here is a great recipe for disaster – take a family who likes to make a big, BIG fuss about Christmas, that’s not my family either, add more family from out of town, and garnish with me eating wheat.

Actually Christmas wasn’t that bad. We did however, eat an ENORMOUS amount of food. One 15 kilo turkey and a 10 kilo ham! That does not include all the extras or dessert! But I do like smoked ham. And I have certainly missed golden gaytime icecreams. And to be honest, I spent a lot of the time in kitchen helping serve the meal, it meant that maybe I didn't have to spend so much time talking to other people, and lower the risk of yelling or getting angry with anyone.

Well the results of week 3 were quite predictable. While trying not to overeat wheat, I did manage to overeat.

Unfortunately, this all seemed to make my symptoms worse, and multiply. While continuing to put on more weight, and got more stomach cramps. I started being tired all the time and getting headaches. Exhausted!

This started off a bad trend and a downward spiral.

Week 2

2009-02-03T20:38:00.002+11:00

So in the first week I was trying not to over do it with the foods. I knew it was going to be a bit of a shock to the system, so I was trying to pace myself. And given that I hadn’t reacted so badly I figured this week maybe I could step it up a little. Enter Turkish bread and pizza.

Turns out I really like Turkish bread with vegemite. REALLY. And I’ve always loved pizza – so no surprises there. Unfortunately for me, as the week got going, it was clear that all the excitement about not being a little early was a little premature. Some of the physical symptoms started unvealing themselves. But it was a little later in the week.

Which to me indicated that if I ever wanted to eat this food without having a reaction, I should just have those anti-biotics (though I’m sure there’s some other long time health problem associated with that). I asked a few friends in the medical profession whether or not it was possible that the anti-biotics would actually have that kind of affect, and they said that anti-biotics do generally change the flora of your gut so it is possible. So there you go.

The symptoms seemed to be a bit sporadic, but sometimes when I ate something wheat-y, like bread, I would get severe stomach cramps or stabbing in the gut straight away (within an hour), and sometimes, nothing at all.

The two most notable symptoms this week were that my weight was progressively increasing (and my bloating etc), and I was getting stomach cramps. Boo.

testing for coeliac disease

2009-01-23T23:03:00.003+11:00

Well first if all it has been quite some time since my last blog entry. I’m not even sure why it’s been so long but I’m sure glad my new computer is smart enough to remember my login details ☺

Anyway so a couple of people who know me said that I should blog about my most recent experience, and with my trusty new computer I decided that would be a good idea. I don’t usually like talking about these kinds of things, but now that I’m almost at the end of it, I feel that hindsight will help me articulate the experience and reflect on what I’ve learned.

What the hell am I talking about you ask? Well the last 6 weeks of my life have been spent attempting to do build up the wheat and gluten content in my body so that I can have the genetic celiac disease blood test. This requires me to eat one wheat-based product three times a day for three to six weeks.

Well wasn’t too keen on the process at all, but I guess its one of the only ways to truly eliminate it from the possibilities and move on. So I selected the Christmas period, firstly because I would be able to eat all those great Christmas goodies my in-laws make, but secondly because most of the people at work and on my client site would be taking time off, so there would be less people to suffer from any of the symptoms that would follow.

The weeks leading up to starting on wheat and other grains again made me very nervous. I wasn’t really sure what to expect – would I be paralysed? Would I grow a third eye? Would I get covered in a horrible rash and not able to work? What if I’m not allergic to anything at all and I’ve made this whole thing up in my head?
I even wrote a list of things that I had missed eating – after all I had 126 wheat based products to eat – I may as well make the most of it right?

Week 1
The first week wasn’t that bad at all. I started with some really small portions. I started with Turkish bread and vegemite, and moved onto biscuits and flavoured chips. I seemed to have no reaction at all. No emotional rollercoaster’s, no weight gain, no stomach cramps! It was truly amazing! I actually thought, “wow, what if I’ve blown this whole thing out of proportion and I’m not really allergic to anything!” Until I remembered that I was on some very strange antibiotic’s to treat a cough I had for over 6 weeks. I think that might have had something to do with it.

corn

2008-10-06T21:42:00.004+11:00

Corn is interesting. It's used in quite a lot of things and has a whole bunch of other food area's that it opens up for people like me. I recently tested corn and the results are variable. Until I go see the specialist I'm going to say I can eat it - because the reactions are mild if any exist.

So the first thing about corn means that I can eat Mexican!! Nachos, quesidillas (spelling?)and taco's! It's great! But there is a heap of other stuff too. One of the gluten free brands makes a corn only pasta - and while it is supremely and a little disturbingly yellow, it is pretty good and not as expensive as some of the other substitutes that I've tried. A couple of the gluten free brands make a corn based bread too. I haven't tried them yet, but there is a health food store in Bondi Junction that I have seen advertise them. I'll hopefully try those soon and let you know how that goes.

Cornflour can therefore obviously be used in a lot of baking too, which is great. It doesn't have the same effect as wheat flour, but with some of the other agents mentioned in the flour entry, it's actually quite good for cooking with. And it's A LOT cheaper than some of the other substitutes and easy to find. Supplied generously by your local supermarket.

But let's get back to the options. Breakfast options. Up until now I've not had a lot of choice with what to eat for breakfast. Of course there's all the things that are good for you - eggs, fruit salad, soup etc. But these things really take a long time to prepare. And my lifestyle choice is to sleep in. Which means I will either skip breakfast, or have something at work. But it also gets a bit boring. Don't get me wrong, I like yogurt and fruit salad. But two things come from that - I seldom have enough for just one serve - its usually 5 days worth when I assemble it, and I refuse to pay for an individual serving every day from the stores - because I can assemble it myself.

But see now, I can have things like, corn thins (they are a bit like cardboard) with margarine and jam, or some form of toast! TOAST! Well I call it that. But you are right - it's not really bread. Actually some of the bread substitutes really don't taste that bad at all. Not when you put stuff on them. Oh that means I might be able to find myself some nice pizza bases too! Oh melted cheese! For the record it is quite difficult to transport melted cheese on it's own in an efficient way. And people do tend to look at me a little funny when I just have ham and cheese. Nothing supporting or surrounding them. Hehe. Oh and cornflakes! How could I forget those. Although most "regular" cornflake type cereals have some form of other grain in them, be it rice, or barley (barley is pretty common). And I was never really a big fan of cereal to start with. And that's just breakfast!

And this means traveling is a lot easier. So that means I can have potatoes and corn!! Actually does anyone have a good recipe for corn bread?

While I type this I'm getting a little bit of a rash on my face, so perhaps my celebrations are premature. Damn.

flour

2008-09-11T22:06:00.003+10:00

It doesn't seem to matter what kind of wheaten flour you use - it still works better than any substitute I have found so far. It's really quite remarkable. I have just baked some banana bread for some work colleagues using homebrand plain flour (see pictures below). I use the same recipe with almond meal, and it really just doesn't work out the same. I've tried a mass of combinations using almond meal with things like tapioca or coconut flour if a varying degree of quantities. It's just not the same. I do miss baking with real flour - but I have gotten quite creative with the alternatives. I will share them along the way.

What's got me really confused is how many things have flour in or on it. I mean I can understand your breads, pastries and pastas, but steak? Hot chips? It's a little crazy! So of course now I have to say to the poor wait staff "I'd like the fish, but could you please check if it has any flour of any kind used in the recipe? Thanks". And of course, back to my previous post they say "Of course. Are you a celiac?" They are just doing their job, and I think it's great they even know what a celiac is! But I wish they wouldn't look at me like some kind of alien when I say "Sorry, no. I just can't have any grains." Their eyes just jump out of their head in complete confusion, their mouth is open with nothing coming out, and then they are running in the other direction as if they don't want to get infected by me some how.

Anyway back to flour. So many good things come from flour that I just can't seem to replicate - pancakes and doughnuts are a great example of that. Pastries and pies - I really miss good pies. And I have to say there is nothing like the smell of fresh bread. Pasta, pizza, and of course biscuits - tim tams, mint slices and actually just cookies! Just about anything that is cooked and tastes good is bound to have some kind of flour on it or in it!

I have tried a few times to make my own bread but that has failed quite miserably. For those looking for a gluten free bread there are quite a few out there and they aren't too bad I don't think. But there is an alternative completely grain free bread made by place called Deeks Bakery, and I have to say - pricey as it is, it is pretty damn good. I buy it i bulk and store it in the freezer and it really does the job well. It doesn't taste like normal bread obviously, but it also doesn't taste like crap. And if you're looking for something to hold your sandwich fillings or burgers in, then I think it's pretty good. Highly recommend it. Honestly I have not found anything better - for me - yet. My husband gets tired of me having to stop there every time we're in Canberra, but it's just so worth it for me.

So you might be asking what do I use instead of flour. Well my main substitute, as I've mentioned is almond meal. But I also use tapioca flour and coconut flour as well. If you're using a substitute, and you're baking, you might also need a bit of xanthum gum to help your baked goods rise. Hazelnut meal is also supposed to be good - but I haven't tried it because I'm not sure I can have hazelnuts. And for the lucky ones, you can obviously use a lot of corn flour and rice flour. But just be careful with the corn flour that its corn flour, and not wheaten corn flour (I know, what's with that!?). Other flours are like lentil flours, chick pea flours, which again I haven't used yet because they are on my experimentation list of food groups.

celiacs and gluten intolerance

2008-09-01T20:52:00.004+10:00

So I thought I’d clarify a something first. I am not a Celiac and I am not Gluten Intolerant – although I can tell you that some days I wish I was – it would certainly make buying food easier! In fact the blood test I took at Australian Biologics tells me that I could have as much gluten as I wanted … if it didn’t come from a grain. I am not able to eat just about all normal grains. So that’s wheat, oats, rye, barley, rice and corn. What’s even more interesting is that someone told me that rice is supposed to be one of the least allergic foods – and yet I can’t eat it – well at least my experiments to date have leaned towards not. What’s with that?!

Also for the record I make no claims to being a professional, I always recommend seeing a specialist and reading the ingredients. This blog is primarily a record of food and how it affects me. But everyone is different and is likely to react differently.

I think the most surprising thing has been how much it affects me. I really didn’t think the food you ate would have that much impact (other than over consumption etc). And what’s more its like a swinging pendulum. Most days you’re high, then you eat something – either on purpose or not, and then off you go down to low. It takes about a week to recover. Most of the symptoms are gone in a few days - but a week to get it all out.

So also interestingly, as Miss Danielle writes in her comments – I have to rotate foods because I find that I get bad reactions to foods that I thought I could eat, and fine (well sort of) with other foods I couldn’t sometimes! It’s completely insane! Actually I’m glad she wrote that because I really thought I was just getting paranoid and becoming a hypochondriac nut job.

So from here on I want to share recipes and thoughts, pictures of food and so on.

introduction to me

2008-08-27T20:07:00.010+10:00

Firstly a little bit of context. I am intolerant - I mean food intolerant. I have a lot of food related allergies and intolerances that are ridiculously specific with some very strange effects. The list of things I can eat is much shorter than the list I can't eat. So I decided to create this blog to help explore the world of food, its effects on me, and get some ideas from anyone about what I can do about it, or what I could eat instead! Also I want to create a channel that also shares my good food experiences too!

So what's the difference between a food allergy and a food intolerance? Well, in my language, allergies mean I can't eat them ever because the side effects are super bad. Intolerances mean I could eat them once or twice a week and the side effects are just not great.

What happens to me? Well the side effects of eating bad food really vary depending on what it was, but it will usually be one or more of the following:

serious bloating
overnight or rapid weight gain (1-2kilos)
random red blotches on my face
itchiness and rashes
hyper sensitive skin
constipation and/or diarrhea
lethargy
headaches and migraines
severe depression
erratic uncontrollable anger & short tempered-ness
irrational thought process

Now I know that some of these sound like normal female traits, but there is a notable difference and everything seems a bit not quite right when I eat something bad.

So ever since I found out about this, I have spent every day experimenting with food. I like to think I'm quite diligent about it - but that could just be the scientist in me (or the ocd coming out). I have to try foods individually and as a combination with other things. Let me tell you it’s not a trivial process – but it is definitely consistent and definitely repeatable.

Basically I have to start with a good safe baseline, which basically means eating my staple foods of chicken and potato. Once I’m sure nothing crazy is happening to my body, I pick a specific food, and I try it for a week. On the first day I eat it. On the second day I wait and see if anything happens. If not, I try eating it again. This continues until either something happens, or I get to the end of the week. It’s really exciting celebration when I find something new I can eat. But more often than not I get to about day 2 or 3 and I have to stop eating everything interesting and go back to chicken and potatoes until I’m better again. Tedious I know. I am completely open to any suggestions.